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For Size Asked:
1. The Packing
House is firmly positioned as an issue book. It takes on arguably the most
difficult issue facing children and teens. Sexual abuse…that’s a huge one,
especially when the crime is against children. Were you afraid to write this
book? Going in, what went through your mind as you set out to write this story?
G. Donald Cribbs
Answered:
Forgive my rather lengthy first answer. But this topic requires a look
at the cold hard facts, the numbers representing real people, real children who
are suffering and struggling with the aftermath of child sexual abuse. With
that caveat, let’s dive in.
When I wrote the first draft of THE PACKING HOUSE, the United States
population was in the neighborhood of 309 million people. Approximately half
are male, half female. According to the research study conducted by the Centers
for Disease Control (CDC) on child sexual abuse (CSA), 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6
boys prior to the age of 18 will experience an unwanted sexual act, either
including touch or not. Therefore, more than 64 million are survivors of CSA
(38 million girls, 25 million boys). Since then, an additional 3 million
survivors of CSA have been born, raising the number of survivors of CSA in the USA alone to a
staggering 67 million.
For comparison, the numbers in Canada include a total population
of just under 36 million people, with 7.5 million survivors of CSA (4.5 million
girls, 3 million boys). These are equally sobering and stunning numbers we need
to look at, since silence only enables abusers to continue making these numbers
rise.
As a father of four boys myself, I refuse to ignore and remain silent
on this issue. The statistics are getting worse, not better. They’re moving in
the wrong direction, and I will not let my boys inherit a world where the
numbers are 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys as survivors of CSA. Not one child
abused is ever an acceptable number, let alone 75 million in the US and Canada. Does it scare me? Yes. It
scares the hell out of me. But I am MORE scared of a world where child sexual
abuse is ignored and swept under the cultural rug to avoid unpleasantness. To
hell with that.
This issue is also a personal one for me, as a survivor of child
sexual abuse.
I wrote it as a part of my recovery. It was both triggering and
cathartic to write this out in novel form, giving life and voice to “Joel
Scrivener.” Once I started the process, and found my way to Joel, I was
primarily focused on how I could convince readers to want to read about child
sexual abuse. I mean, really, who wants to read about this topic? So, I had my
work cut out for me. In my mind, I constructed a way to hook the reader before
realizing they were reading about CSA. I remained conflicted through several
years of revisions regarding this duplicity: trick my readers into reading
about an unpleasant topic to the point they cannot put it down.
Writers write what they know, which means relying upon personal lived
experience to inform the story. While THE PACKING HOUSE is not a memoir, it’s
not far from that either. In order to “go there” and write about very personal
and very difficult experiences (particularly to relive them the number of times
necessary to revise this novel to the quality and level of publishable) I had
to get uncomfortably close but find ways to protect myself as well. By
fictionalizing my own account, it brought both the distance and the closeness
needed to give an authenticity to Joel’s story that would resonate with
readers, many of whom could be survivors or their loved ones. With respect to
all survivors, I determined to take on this task and write this story. It is my
hope others will be inspired to speak up and find their voices, and share their
stories as well.
TTBOFS Asked:
2. Your main
character, Joel Scrivener, has had a serious life trauma…and yet he does not
know what it is. How frequent does this phenomena occur? We see Joel really
struggle through the first half of the story…attempting to grasp something that
is just outside his periphery. Is this common for victims of childhood sexual
abuse?
GDC Answered:
I work in the mental health field currently, and have observed
countless children with traumatic histories. There is a strong correlation
between trauma and mental health diagnoses. This fact makes me weep. But, it
also inspires me daily, working with the next generations’ living heroes. I
would rather call them survivors of child sexual abuse, since labeling them a
victim could have deleterious effects. As for those who are survivors of child
sexual abuse (CSA), suppressing the trauma is a necessary part of the recovery
process. Until they have stabilized themselves in the aftermath of abuse, and
until they have gained the skills necessary to face their trauma, survivors
“forget” what happened to them as a coping mechanism.
It’s one thing to face a bully in school, or deal with the way poverty
limits resources; both are genuine struggles teens face today, but for
survivors of CSA, theirs is a whole other struggle entirely. Yet another reason
we need to speak up and help them discover the truth that they are not alone,
and their experience can be validated by those who will listen and offer
support.
TTBOFS Asked:
3. Donald, do
you feel that writing this novel has, in some ways, excised some of your own
demons? How therapeutic was it for you to write this book? Do you want to talk
about your own experiences on the subject that you covered in your novel?
GDC Answered:
The short answer is, yes. Yes, I have exorcized the demon that is CSA.
Honestly, the demon from Joel’s nightmares represents his abuser, but
essentially, he was created to give teeth to the hell Joel goes through awake
or asleep. He is not afforded the dignity of rest, of relief from his traumatic
past. You could say the demon represents what CSA is to survivors. That might
look different from one survivor to another. Those traumatic memories can
surface at any time. Sometimes a touch, or a smell, or returning to a specific
place can trigger a memory for a survivor.
I said above that it was cathartic to write this book. One of Joel’s
biggest hurdles is to find a way to recover his dignity and choose how to share
his abuse experience, rather than have it chosen for him the way it was at the
beginning of the novel. For many survivors this is a daily lived truth. The lie
of CSA is that we somehow “deserved” what happened to us, or “brought it upon
ourselves,” neither of which are true. In many ways, the action I took toward
CSA by writing this book parallels the same journey Joel takes in the novel.
The experience was not without becoming triggered, and struggling at
times. That cost me and my family, my wife and four boys, as I worked my way
through a process that took 5 years start to finish. Am I better for it? Yes. I
would say I have moved further in my recovery, toward overcomer, the last stage
of my recovery model. The model I use runs along a continuum: victim, survivor,
thriver, adaptor, and overcomer.
A common diagnosis among survivors of CSA is posttraumatic stress
disorder (PTSD). However, it was not until graduate school I learned there is
something else: posttraumatic growth (PTG) as an option for survivors. The
thing about PTSD is it can be limiting. I will say it is a good starting point,
but I would suggest that it should be viewed as a temporary label, that can be
revised later once the survivor is ready to move beyond that place.
Posttraumatic Growth allows the survivor to use a resiliency-based approach in
their recovery. For a discussion on the differences between PTSD and PTG, check
out the article I wrote for Stigma Fighters: http://stigmafighters.com/stigma-fighters-g-donald-cribbs/
Finally, I will say that one of the greatest purposes in writing THE
PACKING HOUSE is to support CSA survivors. With the sale of each book, I will
donate 20% to Male Survivor to establish a scholarship survivors can use to
attend a Weekend of Recovery. For more information, check out their site: www.malesurvivor.org
TTBOFS Asked:
4. (As an aside, I would like to add that Male Survivor is a lifeline for male survivors of sexual abuse. I have myself gone to two of their WEEKEND OF RECOVERY weekend retreats for survivors. I credit them with saving me and helping me to move from victim to survivor to thriver on my own journey away from childhood sexual abuse victim. Thank you for mentioning them, Donald. And thank you for helping others discover this godsend of an organization. Your donation will be greatly appreciated by them.) With my own
writing, I always try to write books that I would have loved to read as a
teenager…to get them into the hands of readers who might feel less alone after
reading them. The Packing House definitely would have been one for me. Your
novel will be a way to begin dialogue on this subject that is becoming less and
less taboo. If it reaches victims, it could potentially save them years
(decades) of silent suffering. I want you to tell me what it means to you to put
this out into the world.
GDC Answered:
I definitely kept that idea in mind: writing the books I needed as a
teen, when writing THE PACKING HOUSE. They just didn’t exist back then.
Thankfully, I am not the only writer addressing the importance of this topic.
Several must read titles include: The Gospel of Winter, by Brendan Kiely,
Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock, by Matthew Quick, Boy Toy, by Barry Lyga, Swagger,
by Carl Deuker, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, just
to name a few. I first learned the concept of writing the books teens need from
author Cheryl Rainfield. I have loved every book of hers, and highly recommend
reading Scars, Hunted, Parallel Visions, and Stained.
For me, it means I am doing something actionable: to normalize the CSA
experience for other survivors by writing Joel’s story, by creating a tool for
parents and family members (as well as clinical mental health organizations and
professionals) to use in supporting survivors, and in underlining the importance
of dialogue and action regarding child sexual abuse (CSA). We need to talk
about it, and we need to take action.
TTBOFS Asked:
5. We now know
that one of the biggest barriers in the fight against childhood sexual abuse is
SILENCE. Essentially, silence kills…it causes the victim to suffer and it
protects the perpetrator. If you could start a campaign to end SILENCE, using
your novel The Packing House as a jumping off point…how would you go about
doing so? And how would you incorporate Joel Scrivener as a poster-child to
break down the walls of silence that victims of childhood sexual abuse suffer
behind?
GDC Answered:
I would love to see THE PACKING HOUSE used in the way you have just
described. That is my vision and dream, and the story is not over with this
book. It’s actually book one of a planned duology. Book two is in first draft,
and I am about 12,000 words in so far, which is basically the hook. Hopefully
it will take substantially less than five years to complete and share with readers.
The tentative title is, Unpacking the Past, and picks up right where book one
ends. Trust me to tell you, it takes off from there.
The movement you have described can be summarized by the hashtag I
created: #YourStoryYourVoice to use on social media to talk about shattering
the silence, your voice matters, and your story matters. Don’t allow your
abuser to win. Find and use your voice, and speak up. Others, like myself, need
to hear your stories, which are just as valid as Joel’s story. Together, we can
speak up and end the crippling effect silence has on survivors. Let’s do this.
I am thankful for forerunners, like Tori Amos and her work with
www.RAINN.org (Rape Abuse & Incest National Network) and Lady Gaga, whose
recent song from the movie The Hunting Ground, addresses sexual assault (SA) on
college campuses, a related issue in the sexual trauma category. Her song,
“Till it Happens to You” (Listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmWBrN7QV6Y
) was on repeat as I revised part three of THE PACKING HOUSE. She lives nearby
in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and I am so very thankful for her example and for
her championing this cause, given her own personal recovery journey with SA. I
have learned I am not alone and there is much more to be done.
TTBOFS Asked:
6. How did you
begin your journey into WRITER? Did you want to talk about the evolution of
your writing life leading up to the release of your debut novel?
GDC Answered:
As a child I found solace in the library. I loved and read as many
books as I could get my hands on. My childhood could be described as
tumultuous, to say the least. I moved more than fifty times before I turned 18.
I was raised by a single mother, who was unlike Joel’s mother described in THE
PACKING HOUSE. Despite the upheaval I experienced as a child, books saved me
and taught me to tell my own story. Eventually, I would learn to write. I began
with simple stories and poems, and this led to some recognition and awards in
high school. As an adult, I wrote my first novel in 2010, and revised it
countless times in the past five years. Now I am satisfied I have a compelling
story to share (thanks to the tremendous support I received from my editor and
proof reader), and I hope you’ll find Joel’s story one that touches you in the
reader feels.
TTBOFS Asked:
7. The journey
to publication is almost over. I watched a lot of the becoming of The Packing
House. I was constantly in awe of your dedication to getting it just right.
This baby was incredibly important to you. As a writer, I’ve learned a lot from
you while watching you go through the editing and rewriting process. It’s done!
That must feel like an incredible accomplishment. Not to brush it aside, now, but…here’s
the inevitable WHAT’S NEXT question. What does G. Donald Cribbs have in the
hopper? With your debut young adult novel finally hitting the marketplace, what
are you writing now? Any projects you want to talk about?
GDC Answered:
Kevin, I am so thankful to have found you and your books during my
journey of writing and revising THE PACKING HOUSE. Your patience and endurance
in reading and reading again the many iterations that were the drafts of THE
PACKING HOUSE helped to shape it into what it is today. Without your
support, I might have given up and shelved it or “trunked” it, as many writers
say. If any of that process helped you in any way, I am humbled and grateful it
didn’t drive you insane.
It does feel like an incredible accomplishment. My boys have a father
again, and my wife has a husband again. Thank goodness!
One area of growth I am working on as a straight male able-bodied cis
Christian man is that despite my past I am privileged. There are many more who
are not as fortunate as I am. When I write stories, it is important to me to
consider perspectives outside of my own and represent straight and LGBT, male
and female, those like my son who face and overcome disabilities and those who
do not, cis and trans persons, and others on a spectrum of identity, Christian,
Muslim, and other faiths or non-faiths, and those from minority groups who have
been significantly underrepresented in history, books, music, the arts, and in
many other ways. Mental health, since it is my profession, is important to me
to talk about and write about and will likely show up in future books.
TTBOFS Asked:
8. I just wanted to stop you there for a moment. You've brought up a topic I would like to touch on briefly. You speak of the importance of inclusion overall, and of LGBT representation. Did you want to speak to the sexuality confusion faced by your main character, Joel Scrivener, in The Packing House?
GDC Answered:
Joel's sexuality does come to the forefront during his journey as seen in The Packing House. Particularly for survivors who are the same gender, most commonly male-male survivors, this does come up, despite the fact that abuse is about power and control rather than one's sexuality. So, it was important for me to represent the incongruence a survivor must work through in his or her recovery. I introduce this underlying struggle for Joel who is conflicted about identifying himself as either a bisexual or heterosexual person. Another option could be identifying himself as homosexual. But this struggle will carry over into book two, regardless of what happens in book one. I will add that my own sexuality does not matter; it's Joel's story and struggle to tell. Still, it's important to be representative and inclusive when writing about these topics.
TTBOFS Answered:
I knew you would answer that question expertly. Thanks so much for elaborating! Sorry for the interruption. Please continue with the original question regarding your future projects.
GDC Answered:
No problem at all. Once my first set of books are complete, I intend to write many more
books, both standalone and series. I have a dystopian series on twins and
diseases that has a neat rescue storyline. I have a fairytale retelling planned
based on Beauty and the Beast with a twist. She is the beast, not he. Also, to
explain the magic in a magical realism approach, I’m using a steampunk
framework to tell the story. That story is next. But there are others, many,
many others. I hope you and other readers will stick around. It’s going to be
an amazing ride. I do plan to stick with Young Adult fiction to tell these and
other stories. Don’t tell anyone but I am a huge fanboy of many YA writers and
the books they write.
I look forward to connecting with my readers on social media, and
continuing the conversation there. Sometimes, I may be reading or writing
instead. I won’t be gone long. If Joel’s story resonates with you, I hope
you’ll find your favorite place to post a review so other readers can connect
as well. Thank you for reading THE PACKING HOUSE. We should
probably hang out and talk somewhere online.
Thanks for having me on your blog, Kevin. I hope this is one of many
conversations to move CSA to a place of relevance and urgency, a place that
necessitates future discussion and action.
TTBOFS Answered:
I will definitely share my review of THE PACKING HOUSE
wherever I can, Donald. It’s an excellent read and an important one. You took
on a monumental task and, in my opinion, you scored a homerun. TPH is an
entertaining read and Joel Scrivener is a character I will remember for a long
time to come. Thank you so much for your time. And, perhaps more importantly, thank you for taking the time to share with my readers your knowledge on the subject of CSA. I wish you the best of success
with this novel. May it reach the hands of those who need it most! We look forward to seeing more from you soon! Thank you.
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