More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera - A Review

TITLE: MORE HAPPY THAN NOT

AUTHOR: ADAM SILVERA

RELEASE DATE: June 2nd, 2015

FORMAT/PAGE COUNT: Kindle/304 pages

PUBLISHER: SOHO TEEN

PURCHASED: AMAZON

SYNOPSIS: 

In the months after his father's suicide, it's been tough for 16-year-old Aaron Soto to find happiness again--but he's still gunning for it. With the support of his girlfriend Genevieve and his overworked mom, he's slowly remembering what that might feel like. But grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist prevent him from forgetting completely.

When Genevieve leaves for a couple of weeks, Aaron spends all his time hanging out with this new guy, Thomas. Aaron's crew notices, and they're not exactly thrilled. But Aaron can't deny the happiness Thomas brings or how Thomas makes him feel safe from himself, despite the tensions their friendship is stirring with his girlfriend and friends. Since Aaron can't stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound feelings for him, he considers turning to the Leteo Institute's revolutionary memory-alteration procedure to straighten himself out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.

Why does happiness have to be so hard? (From GOODREADS)

EXPECTATION: Fear? Anxiety? Excitement. I've been planning on reading this one since I first heard about it, a few months before it dropped. I am only now getting around to it. I knew it would cut like a knife. The synopsis told me this much.

REVIEW:

This book sucker-punched me in the throat. It took every thought on homosexuality I ever had and made it a what-if. What if we could have that part of ourselves wiped out of our memory for good? What if we could remove it from who we are, what we are? What if we could escape that life? If we could, would we? I understood immediately the main character's desire to alter his memories and to wipe the existence of his sexuality from his mind. I understood it in a very real and heartbreaking way.

This book messed with my head. I wanted to simultaneously slap the main character across the head, root for him, and watch with anticipation to see if he is ultimately able to escape the imagined death sentence he finds himself in. I was all over the charts on this one...mostly because I think this is something a hell of a lot of LGBTQ teens struggle with. This is a must read. And not only for LGBTQ persons. If you want to see their internal struggle and turmoil, to understand them better--to walk a mile in their shoes--read this book!

The whole premise of More Happy Than Not is essentially about the main character, Aaron Soto, attempting to flee his homosexuality. But where we begin is not really the beginning. Because of the nature of this rollercoaster of a story, we are originally led to believe this is about Aaron coming to terms with the suicide of his father and then his own failed suicide attempt. But that's simply the surface of this amazingly executed tale of homophobia, depression, loss, poverty, friendship, and the awkward and horrific inner turmoil of not being comfortable in one's own skin...with the essence of one's selfness.

One of the first questions I formed as the story unraveled from the original suicide and loss thread, and we began to see the unfolding of Aaron's sexuality questioning while in the throes of a new friendship with a boy named Thomas, was HOW MANY PEOPLE NEED TO ACCEPT YOU BEFORE IT'S OKAY TO ACCEPT YOURSELF? Aaron knew, even as his feelings for Thomas grew, that his friends would not be okay with him liking boys. And there was already a growing strain between him and his friends, possibly as a result of his father's suicide and his own failed attempt...or possibly because of other circumstances not yet revealed to the reader. The reader may have a sense that there is more than meets the eye on this issue. Aaron struggles to come clean about his sexuality even to his mother and brother...even though his mother pointedly tells him she would love him no matter what.

In an effort to forego the struggle of dealing with his burgeoning sexuality, Aaron considers the Leteo Institute's memory altering procedure...maybe he can simply erase the fact that he is gay from his mind. It would answer all his prayers in one fell swoop. He could keep his girlfriend and be straight with her and carry on in a normal heterosexual existence.

Oh yeah, Aaron also has a girlfriend. Genevieve is a visual artist who is very much in love with him...to a point where it is dangerous. She wants him. Even when things start to unravel she still wants to hold on to him. As Thomas comes into his life, Genevieve is temporarily leaving it for a getaway at an art camp. His struggles over not wanting to hurt her upon her return by revealing his secret sexual desires are palpable. But his unnamed secret becomes even more complicated when an incredibly HUGE plot-twist interrupts the forward motion of this story with the expertise and precision of a sword. We, the reader, find that we have been kept in the dark about a few things.

The plot twist works well. At first, I felt a bit violated by the deception...but I almost immediately got over it. It turned out to be an extremely heartrending twist. I did not see it coming, and it served to show the sheer depths of Aaron's sexuality struggles. His struggle is so true and so real and so similar...it cut deep. I can't even begin to count the number of times I wished I could start over...erase everything and simply start over in a more friendly accepting environment. Somewhere, anywhere that accepts you for who you are. But in real life...you're always going to find haters. You will never escape judgement. This is why Aaron considers NOT to alter the opinion of those around him but to alter his own mind instead. But some things come at a price. Sometimes there are even more tragic things than accepting who you are even at the price of losing everything around you.


I found this story to be completely and utterly heartbreaking. But I also found it to be an oasis of hope. Perhaps the LGBTQ youth who read it will find a perverse comfort in it...if only in discovering they are not alone in their struggle at self-acceptance while simultaneously discovering who ultimately will not accept them. Sadly, many of them will far too easily imagine a world where they would erase their sexuality from their memory in order to have a more comfortable existence.

At one point, Aaron states, "I can't believe I was once that guy who carved a smile into his wrist because he couldn't find happiness, that guy who thought he would find it in death." But I can. I can believe it wholeheartedly. It's not easy. And Adam Silvera painted a perfect picture of the struggle. One can only hope that books like this one change people, make them more tolerant. But it's not the LGBTQ people who need to change. It's those who oppose them for simply being who they are...who they unalterably emphatically are. 

 

"I'm more happy than not. Don't forget me." ~ Aaron Soto, More Happy Than Not (Adam Silvera)

SIZE: 5 1/2

Find Adam Silvera online at his WEBSITE, on Twitter, and, on Instagram.

GEORGE by ALEX GINO - A Review

 
TITLE: GEORGE

AUTHOR: ALEX GINO

RELEASE DATE: August 25th, 2015

FORMAT/PAGE COUNT: Kindle/240 pages

PUBLISHER: SCHOLASTIC PRESS

PURCHASED: AMAZON

SYNOPSIS: 

BE WHO YOU ARE.

When people look at George, they think they see a boy. But she knows she's not a boy. She knows she's a girl.

George thinks she'll have to keep this a secret forever. Then her teacher announces that their class play is going to be Charlotte's Web. George really, really, REALLY wants to play Charlotte. But the teacher says she can't even try out for the part . . . because she's a boy.

With the help of her best friend, Kelly, George comes up with a plan. Not just so she can be Charlotte -- but so everyone can know who she is, once and for all.(GOODREADS)
 
EXPECTATION: From the moment I first heard about this book, I knew I had to read it. It was one of those books I counted down to the release date.

REVIEW: 

Right at the onset of George, I recognized something in the secrecy of the main character, George. In the opening sentences, there’s a passage that reads, ‘George needed to be certain the house was empty’. After elaborately casing the house for others, George fishes beneath the pile of teddy bears and fluffy bunnies in her closet for a flat denim bag that contained a treasure…her fashion magazines. George loved to get lost in the glossy pages of these magazines, dreaming about the day she could one day be a woman like the ones on its pages, dreaming of the glamour and the beauty products and the outfits and the everything.

One thing you need to know about George is that George is Melissa. You see, the world still sees her as a boy named George. But George is Melissa and Melissa is a girl.

Keeping her glamour magazines a secret are the least of George’s problems. This year’s featured book at school is Charlotte’s Web. Different grades do different things with the book. George’s grade is charged with putting on a play. And George knows she would be the best Charlotte ever. Her best friend Kelly sees nothing wrong with this…so the two go about rehearsing their lines together. But come audition day, George’s teacher, Ms. Udell, is slightly less than amused by George’s audition. But can she stop the girl who would shine the most as the beloved spider?

Alex Gino’s George is raw, honest, and perfectly rendered for the age group of the target Middle Grade audience. It’s a heart-warming story of a girl coming to terms with herself. And it is beautiful. For me, some of the noteworthy moments in this lovely tale include George’s comeuppance of the bully, Jeff. It was so delicious and perfect, and so George. As well, the preparation for the trip to the zoo was stellar…beautiful scene where two best girlfriends, Melissa and Kelly, get dressed up for a day trip. Possibly one of my favourite scenes was the interaction George had with her older brother when she revealed her 'secret' to him. You will love so many scenes in this book. As it's a quick read, I don't really want to give too much more away.

I’d recommend this quick read to anyone…it certainly transcends the Middle Grade market, even as it fits perfectly within it.

I look forward to more from Alex Gino. They have an excellent way of opening eyes without being preachy or lesson-y while doing so. Their ability to tackle the important transgender issue, while telling a wonderful and engaging story was flawless. I can’t wait to see what Alex does next!

EXPECTATION MET?: I waited quite a while for this one. Couldn't wait to read it, actually. It exceeded my expectations nicely. Such a satisfying read. And I'm so glad it exists in the lower reading category of Middle Grade. It will find its audience...books like this always do. Books like this are salvation to those who need them.

SIZE: 5

Want to learn more about the author? Visit Alex at their website (click on the pic below):

WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES by Raziel Reid Spectacular Spectacular!

 
TITLE: WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE THE MOVIES

AUTHOR: RAZIEL REID

RELEASE DATE: October 21st, 2014

FORMAT/PAGE COUNT: ebook/176 pages

PUBLISHER: Arsenal Pulp Press

PURCHASED: AMAZON KINDLE

SYNOPSIS: 


School is just like a film set: there's The Crew, who make things happen, The Extras who fill the empty desks, and The Movie Stars, whom everyone wants tagged in their Facebook photos. But Jude doesn't fit in. He's not part of The Crew because he isn't about to do anything unless it's court-appointed; he's not an Extra because nothing about him is anonymous; and he's not a Movie Star because even though everyone know his name like an A-lister, he isn't invited to the cool parties. As the director calls action, Jude is the flamer that lights the set on fire.

Before everything turns to ashes from the resulting inferno, Jude drags his best friend Angela off the casting couch and into enough melodrama to incite the paparazzi, all while trying to fend off the haters and win the heart of his favourite co-star Luke Morris. It's a total train wreck!

But train wrecks always make the front page.(FROM GOODREADS)
 

EXPECTATION: I had high hopes for this book as soon as I heard about it. I kept hearing about the GG and the Canada Reads selection...and it became even more intriguing to me. Then, when I heard about petitions to have the GG revoked and the CR selection rescinded, I knew I had to read it. I knew it would be good.


REVIEW: 

This is an extraordinary book. I loved the YA voice of the narrator. Remarkable. So authentic, perhaps the most authentic YA voice I have ever read. When Everything Feels Like the Movies is a beautiful tragedy filled with hope and longing. I loved this book. I know it's going to stay with me for a very long time. There were so many things I loved about this book, it's impossible to parse into a review. Jude/Judy is a tour-de-force of a character. From page one I wanted her to succeed in the movie of her life. Filled with unrivaled sarcastic wit, the whole thing was just a sheer delight to read. The grit and reality of the narrator's voice was flawless and fearless. A beautiful novel.

"Our principal, Mr. Callagher, was saying through the speaker that the school was throwing a Valentine's dance, and if anyone wanted to help organize it, they should come to the office and lunch and shove their finger up his ass."

"We'd made the back table ours ever since Angela slept with her second cousin and started keeping a list under the table. We always sat there because she always had a new name to add."

I read almost exclusively on my Kindle app on my smartphone now. I love how you can highlight passages and make notes. With this book, however, I stopped highlighting after about 1/4 of the book. Because I was highlighting everything. The two passages above, I believe, are greatly representative of the impeccable voice of the narrator. I try to read every book as a reader, but I have to admit I read this one almost exclusively as a writer. I was blown away by voice. Yes, it had a story too...a fantastic one...and I realize I haven't really touched on that yet. It's just that it's one of those books that makes me want to try harder as a writer, to cross the lines I shy away from.

When Everything Feels Like the Movies is essentially the story of a teen who is larger than the small town that could never truly contain them. What sets it aside from other stories about breaking out of the small and into the limelight is that the character who is struggling to be contained is trans. Jude (Judy) deals with bigotry at every turn...including at home. But she is still able to dream big and have such lofty glamorous goals for herself. Her almost vulgar egoism and arrogance is a delight. Where it should turn a reader off, it endears her to them. We see the raw vulnerability in her swaggering confidence and self-love. True sarcasm comes not from pride, but from the shaky ego that wants to emulate pride. Jude is such a flawlessly written flawed character. He will remain one of my favourite characters for a long time to come.

Highlights for me? The secretive relationship between Jude and his best friend's brother. And the way the reader can feel the scream of love caught in Jude's throat where his little brother is concerned. The author writes with such a subtle pen...never more so than when he paints the picture of Jude's feelings for his half-brother Keefer. Also, Jude's complicated relationship with his father. The longing in that relationship is so painful. With just a few strokes of his pen, Reid impeccably captured a struggling father/son relationship...with the perfect balance of want and need and outrage. I'm beginning to think the whole book was a highlight for me. Reid drew an amazingly accurate villain in Ray, Jude's stepfather, too. Here was a man who seemed afraid Jude's gayness might transfer to his own son simply through touch or proximity. Again, a flawless rendition of a character...and how Jude's mother repeatedly chose Ray over her own son was also amazingly captured.Yep...too many highlights to speak of.

Be careful what you read about this book. I've seen spoilers after having read it that would have ruined the ending for me. If you want to go into it blindly, try not to read up on it prior to cracking the spine. Even the author himself drops plot spoilers in interviews surrounding the origins of the story. Beware!



EXPECTATION:To be honest, the controversy surrounding this book was a big motivating factor in me deciding to read it. Firstly, it sounded like a wonderful story. Secondly, I have no time for writers who think it's their place to petition to have books stripped of awards they absolutely and definitively deserve. In fact, I was quite disgusted that anyone would try to rally and petition against this book. It met and exceeded my expectations. It has made me want to be a better writer. Naysayers should be ashamed of themselves. The green-eyed monster may have much to do with the bitter pills these petitioners are unable to swallow. I hope with everything I have that this book wins CANADA READS!

SIZE:5.5 It's just too big to fit into 5. Je Suis Jude!